Freelancing: The Emotional Multiplier

When people ask me what it’s like to work for yourself, I tell them it’s an emotional multiplier. Well, I haven’t yet, but I’m going to now after this self-reflection of a newsletter. I’m two years into self-employment and I don’t just have “good” and “bad” days.

Good days are euphoric.

I want my arm to be hooked up to an IV bag of positive client feedback at all times. After a good presentation, I walk in circles around my living room like Conor McGregor in the octagon. I close my laptop and feel complete fulfillment and validation that I’ve made the right decision. 

I wish I was kidding, but let’s be honest, I still have some inner meathead left in me from the ol’ playing days.

Bad days are miserable.

Losing a client feels like a break up. If I present poorly on a call, I replay it in my head for hours afterward.

I can’t point fingers at co-workers for not pulling their weight and I can’t complain about my boss being an asshole. I do get to make that joke though, and it’s a real crowd pleaser. 

The company is Oddo Digital, for crying out loud! My family name is in the brand! Every step backward feels like a blemish on my personal and professional reputation.

When I worked for someone else and had a bad day, I could log off, take a deep breath, shrug, and keep it moving. I still got a paycheck every two weeks with the same number on it. It was easier to disassociate and remind myself that my job is simply “how I fund my real life”.

Now, the stakes feel higher and the job feels more intertwined with who I am vs. just what I do. I doubt it NEEDS to feel this intense, but I’m just being honest with how I feel at this moment. Maybe that’ll change, maybe that’s just how my brain works.

Here are the positives

1. My bad days are few and far between now - very rare, honestly.

2. Bad days are usually because of what happened and not my situation. I can live with that.

3. Bad days create urgency and urgency creates change.

4. I have direct incentive to make my situation better. I learn, I grow, I provide better service.

Considering freelancing? Think about if you’d be able to put up with a generally euphoric world with a dash of occasional misery!

Or… maybe you’re less dramatic than me and will be able to keep your emotions in check.

Cheers!

Brian